But where's the walrus 'stache?

via roflrazzi

The original Star Trek opening credits, revealed

Bill's Bad Day

`There's nothing unusual about this scathing rant against Windows' sometimes lousy usuability...

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack ... so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.

This site is so slow it is unusable.

It wasn't in the top 5 so I expanded the other 45.

These 45 names are totally confusing. These names make stuff like: C:\Documents and Settings\billg\My Documents\My Pictures seem clear.

They are not filtered by the system ... and so many of the things are strange.

I tried scoping to Media stuff. Still no moviemaker. I typed in movie. Nothing. I typed in movie maker. Nothing.

So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying - where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist?

So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated.

...nothing, that is, except its author is named Bill Gates.

Drinking age: 55

I can't decide offhand whether Fred J. Eaglesmith is the best country singer in Canada, or just somewhere in the top three[*], but he's definitely the best stage banter artist. Here he is, demonstrating why on an unreleased tune called "Tryin' to Buy Alcohol in Abilene."



[*] The other two: Stompin' Tom Connors and Corb Lund.

A great disturbance in the lunch line

British comic genius Eddie Izzard's "Death Star Cafeteria" bit, now with stop-motion Lego animation. (vaguely NSFW, swearing)

[via Whatever]

VAY-KAY-SHUN, or, Je commence un voyage

Well, I'm off to the land of poutine and Leonard Cohen for a week. This isn't the standard "I apologize in advance for neglecting my blog" post because I pretty much do that anyway, so expect me to actually have something interesting to say and/or share when I get back, if not sooner.

Unless the Language Cops drag moi away for le murdeur vicieux de langue francais, in which case send baguettes, Camus and a t-shirt that says "I didn't mean that about Levesque".

To celebrate, here's Flight of the Conchords explaining in musical fashion what to do with un anana you find in la supermarche.

Three Sheets to the Wind In Bloggenhagen (with Chuck E. Weiss)

Tonight's feature presentation: a twofer of Tom Waits, 70's style.

"The Piano Has Been Drinking" on "Fernwood 2night"


"Eggs and Sausage" on "The Mike Douglas Show"


[both via Bedazzled!]

So that's why they're so concerned about "precious bodily fluids."

Teh Gay, soon to be available in convenient chemical weapon form:

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called “Gay Bomb.”

The Ohio Air Force lab proposed (in 1994) that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another…

[via warren ellis]

Halifax finally explained

Well, that just saved me a trip across Canada. Thanks, guys!

[via the poor man institute]

Swim, Gollum, Swim

[via mefi]

The truth is out there

A petition to the House of Commons, signed by almost 500 of [Conservative MP Mike] Lake's constituents in Edmonton and due for debate next week, asks the government "to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to effect immediate protection of Bigfoot."

You know, some people might actually go so low as to mock this as some sort of evidence the current Government is out-to-lunch, but I can see the wisdom in it. Not only will moving the Tory environmental policy into the realm of the wholly imaginary mean good things for the economy, but Stompin' Tom might finally get his wristwatch back.

Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead

[via boing boing]

Hinterland Who's High

This is your spider's brain. This is your spider's brain, on drugs.
[via mefi]

Behold the screaming flamer

They say the new Immolate Me Elmo doll is a little late in protesting the Vietnam War, but I say you can't blame it for trying. (Not safe for toddlers--unless you want to emotionally scar them for life, in which case have at 'er...)

You see what happens, Larry?

This is the best censorship EVER!

Kill the hippie! Kill the hippie!

It's official: The Young Ones is Britain's 31st best sitcom EVAR!



*smashes other 30 shows over head with cricket bat, screams "shut up you bastards!"*

Look out child 'cause I'm using technology

Iggy Pop's tour rider is kind of like "This Is Spinal Tap" if, instead of being a movie, it was a contract specifying the musical gear, food and refreshments required by the band, and instead of being fictional, it was 100% real. Sample quote:

We need one (1) monitor man who speaks good English and is not afraid of death.

(Only joking... or am I?)

Also, he needs to know a little bit about monitors. This may seem obvious, but believe me...

(For example, in Santiago de Compostela, in Galicia in Northern Spain, they appear to think--if they just ignore riders like this, then supply a fat, bearded hippy with a digital monitor desk (doh!) who doesn't know shit about eq-ing, and monitor wedges that would be better suited to wedging doors open, and a load of stage managers and PA geezers and promoters reps who shout a lot--that this is the same as providing what a band actually needs in order to do a gig to the best of their ability. And that if they deny that their gear is no good, it will suddenly, mysteriously become good.

I'd just like to say that the next time the Stooges get booked for their festival, I'm going to turn up with some pickled eggs, a small blue vibrator with a jelly dolphin balanced on the shaft, a set of dog-eared encyclopedias with the volume E-G missing, and a screwdriver that's been accidentally dropped in the toilet.
And then, when they say, "That's not the Stooges"
I'm going to say, "Yes it is!"
And then they'll say, "No it isn't!"
And I'm going to say, "Yes it is!!!"
See how they like it, fuckers.

Filed under:

• music
• funny
• iggy-pop
• smoking-gun

Ye cannae' change the laws o' physics, Captain!

There's a term in German, which translates roughly as earworm (I believe the original term is something like achtungeinzweivolkswagenleibensraumlengthendeustchenwordmitdercreepyfandomdasderdavidhasselhoff)[*] At any rate, it means "unwelcome song stuck in your head", but the word always reminds me of that scene in Star Trek II where Khan sticks that space slug in Chekhov's ear to try to discover the secret of the fine Corinthian leather the Federation used to upholster the luxurious USS Plymouth Reliant. Which kinda makes this video... apropriate, somehow.


[via the artist formerly known as ambush bugPhasor Burn]

[*] This, clearly, is a joke upon the Germans and their habit of forming ridiculously long compound words to describe every single situation, or as they would have it, gesundheitdasistcompletelytruethatanyphraseingermansoundenderscarylikeeinerammsteinlyric. [**]
[**] This, clearly, is an unnecessary footnote to explain a joke that probably wasn't all that funny to begin with, or as the Germans would call it, blinkenlightsistnichtfuhrgerfingerpokenuntnomatterhowmanyfootnotesyouuseyouarestillnotdavidfosterwallacejackassenschnitzelbratwurst.

Filed under:

• funny
• music
• sf
• star-trek
• parody
• video
• youtube
• annoying

The Well-Tempered Teenybopper

Danny Pi's "How to Write a Fugue" applies Bach's methods to Britney's material, with amusing results. Somewhere in Heaven, Glenn Gould is laughing his ass off.