Friday, October 21, 2005

Trip the Blight Fantastic

Check this out--some guy built a super-detailed, urban decay-filled Bronx model railway. How detailed? Well, you just about expect to see a buncha inch-high mobsters saying "Fuhgeddaboudit" running between all those tiny, graffiti-covered brownstones. I lack the kind of uber-focused nerdiness necessary to pull this off--as well as, let's face it, basically zero interest in model trains--but if I did, I'd love to see somebody do up Liberty City like this.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Positronic Ape Index

I want to take you all on a trip, back through the mists of time, into an era almost unknown to the memory of man. It was a time they called the early 2000's, and monkeys reigned supreme. Poo was flung, fruit was consumed, and as the poet would have it, the shit was bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

But it was not paradise for long, for challengers to the throne came in their memetic hordes. Pirates first, then zombies (held up only by Dolores O'Riordan's asking them what's in their heads), and next--who knows? Bunnies? Ninjas? Creationist-mocking Italian entrees? Turmoil reigns now upon the land.

But our simian friends have not given up yet. No--they can rebuild themselves, make themselves stronger. They have the technology. Gentlemen, I give you the future:

The Realistic Lifelike Animatronic Chimpanzee.

There's a George Bush joke in there somewhere too, but I'm not gonna make it. The poor lil' guy just tries so hard--it's like he thinks he's people!

Everybody dance the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Would you trust a company that insists on installing spyware disguised as a computer game with your credit card details?

A company like, say, Visa?

The Afghan Whigs, hold the whigs.

Rick Mercer (yeah, that Rick Mercer) has a great post up right now about his visit to Afghanistan, giving Guy LaFleur a wake-up call and why he shouldn't go into combat zones without his wardrobe department.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

It came from... well, Australia actually

Every time I think I'm over the whole neo-retro trend in new car styling, somebody goes and does something like this. The Holden EFIJY is an updated take on '30s Holdens and early '50s Barris brothers kustoms, with a touch of Harry Westergard style in the rear. Looks fast standing still, and that's all that matters, right?

[via the H.A.M.B.]

Monday, October 10, 2005

It's safety time!

Picture this: Ten kids on bikes. Wearing ape masks. Dying one by one because they don't use HAND SIGNALS. None of the survivors notices. Oh, and when the last one finally gets to the park, he sees the Statue of Liberty, and finds out--it was EARTH ALL ALONG!

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

The war on error

Australian fake news show CNNNN does their version of the old This Hour Has 22 Minutes "Talking To Americans" bit (which, to be fair, they nicked from Jay "Allegedly Funny Once" Leno)

The subject? The next target for the War on Terror. [via screenhead]

Monday, October 3, 2005

In case of emergency, forget Bruce Willis

Scientists now believe that a 400 meter wide asteroid has a 1-in-60 chance of hitting Earth. For our non-metric readers, that's approximately a quarter mile. For your own safety, it may be necessary to travel that kind of distance from a standing start in ten seconds or less, so there's never been a better time to build a Gasser or Fuel Altered. It's either that, or stand around singing "Leaving On A Jet Plane." I know which one I'd choose.

Saturday, October 1, 2005

Found this on the Jockey Journal forums: Home Made Honda's low buck transformation of a '70s CB750 into a '50s style bobber. I love that style of bike, and it's pretty bitchin' seeing a homemade one built from low buck Jap technology. (The guy didn't give budget info or anything, but I bet you could build two or three of those for the price of a Harley-style crate motor, let alone the insane megabux a pro-built chopper goes for.) Not 100% sure I dig how wide the four cylinder Honda engine looks, but it does look kinda hot rod-y all sitting out in the wind and dominating the look. Maybe one of these days I'll build one myself, but I might prefer a Yamaha Virago or something as donor bike--V-twin motor, neat lookin' no downtube frame and there's enough of 'em still around parts availability shouldn't be too much of a hassle. Just daydreamin' here, but you gotta dream big, right?