Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Positronic Ape Index

I want to take you all on a trip, back through the mists of time, into an era almost unknown to the memory of man. It was a time they called the early 2000's, and monkeys reigned supreme. Poo was flung, fruit was consumed, and as the poet would have it, the shit was bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

But it was not paradise for long, for challengers to the throne came in their memetic hordes. Pirates first, then zombies (held up only by Dolores O'Riordan's asking them what's in their heads), and next--who knows? Bunnies? Ninjas? Creationist-mocking Italian entrees? Turmoil reigns now upon the land.

But our simian friends have not given up yet. No--they can rebuild themselves, make themselves stronger. They have the technology. Gentlemen, I give you the future:

The Realistic Lifelike Animatronic Chimpanzee.

There's a George Bush joke in there somewhere too, but I'm not gonna make it. The poor lil' guy just tries so hard--it's like he thinks he's people!

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