Albertans awarded new premier

Edmonton, Alberta -- After spending nearly $20 in quarters at the West Edmonton Mall skill-claw machine, Albertans were awarded a lovely, washable, polyester-free made in Canada Premier today. Also, Army awarded Alberta a seal for marksmanship and a gorilla for sand racing.

(Seriously, Stelmach was probably the least horrifying choice the PCs could have made--on a scale from 1 to Ted Morton, he rates an "ok, I guess"--but either the Sun editor hates him or he needs to give better photo, I'm not sure which...)