Thursday, July 21, 2005

I've been listening to my inner hippie. As opposed to the outer ones.

I don't know if this is a specific sub-clause of Murphy's Law, or just covered by the general concept, but if, supposedly, one were to fail to tighten the bolts on one's bitchen-lookin', torpedo-shaped bike headlight and if said hypothetical headlight were to work itself even looser from the vibration of riding, said headlight would, again hypothetically, choose the exact center of the steepest, bumpiest piece of bike path in the city to depart its fendery perch for places unknown.

Also, again hypothetically, the alarming rattling of said illumination device would fail to be either loud enough, or mellifluous enough, for any hippie pedestrians one might pass at such speeds as one might attain. Should such an event come to pass, words might be exchanged that would make said hippie seem 93% as passive-aggressive as a PMS-ing Stepford Wife. Words like, oh I dunno, "HEY! You know what's cool, is the dinging of the bells when a bike passes you! The dinging of the bells!!" I may have to give in on this point sometime as the law kinda requires it, but rest assured, dear reader, the ol' El Rattletrap Special is custom-engineered with the finest thrift store technology to already make enough noise to be noticed automatically. All mod cons, we got 'em.

In any event, here's my impressions of the first day of Folk Fest:

  • Buck 65


  • I've been a fan of Hali's weirdest hip-hop export for a few years now, so I was looking forward to seeing him live at last. And I've gotta say, I was the tiniest smidge disappointed. It's hard to actually find any specific fault, mind you--his words entranced, his delivery was the right combination of world-weary and energetic, and though the odd pseudo-Tom Waits-ism about circus freaks in Dusseldorf or whatever felt a little bit like conscious window dressing, his enthusiasm for his genre-stretching and -abandoning experiments seems pretty genuine. (For instance, he ended his set with a live mashup of his own "Wicked and Wierd" over Clarence "Tom" Ashley's "Coo Coo Bird") Still, it seemed he wasn't connecting with a big hunk o' the crowd.

    Maybe they were expecting a live band. I know I was--Chicago avant-gard/postrock/alt-jazz types and 1996 hipsters of the year Tortoise reportedly backed Bucky up on his newest record, and they are playing the festival this year, so I naturally assumed they'd be behind him on stage. Nope, just two turntables, a microphone, and occasional backing vocals from his wife, Claire. (Who was either buried in the mix or wasn't enunciating well, it seemed.) Anyway, it sounded good, but whatever je ne sais quois he was missing, I'm not gonna hold against him.

  • Instinckt


  • Damn, you gotta check these guys out. I mean, if I said they modernise traditional Danish fiddle tunes, throatsinging and Donovan's favourite medieval instrument, the hurdy-gurdy, with updated danceable beats, you'd think they were like broccoli to a kid--good for you but tasting awful. But trust me, they're pretty entrancing if you give 'em a chance.

  • Hawksley Workman


  • So I'd somehow written Hawksley off as one of these studio-only type of guys. Maybe it's because of how intricate and multi-layered his records come off as, maybe it's because I'd heard of him as a producer before I'd heard of him as an artist, but there you go. Preconceptions suck. He's got a hell of a vocal range and he knows how to use it, toying with pitch and dynamics in a way that's spontaneous, soulful and yet weirdly torch/cabaret-esque. (Must be 'cause he's got Teh Ghey.) Oh, and he can still sing like that when he's doubling on guitar or drums, too. If he was a "Hit 'em with the hook" type, he'd probably be an International Superstar.

  • Jeff Tweedy


  • So I'd somehow written Jeff off as one of these studio-only type of guys. Maybe it's because I only know him from Wilco's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot", a collection of songs that at their best balance a deceptive folk-pop simplicity with a sprawling psychedelic tape-collage aesthetic without either extreme cancelling the other out. No wait, that is the reason. Anyway, if you're expecting the freaky bits live, they're not gonna happen, but J-Twee as I'm sure his friends don't call him has whatever that quality is that makes a lone man with an acoustic guitar worth paying attention to. Definitely helps if you know enough to sing along to "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart"--that opening verse is genius:

    "I'm an American aquarium drinker
    Art assasin down the avenue
    I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
    What was I thinking when I let go of you?"

Friday, July 15, 2005

I'm not making this up, I swear

Actual error message from a porn site:


Error Occurred While Processing Request

Error Diagnostic Information

ColdFusion cannot determine how to process the tag <cflog>. The tag name may be misspelled.

If you are using tags whose names begin with CF but are not ColdFusion tags you should contact Allaire Support.

The error occurred while processing an element with a general identifier of (CFLOG), occupying document position (28:5) to (28:246).



Huh-huh, he said "CFLOG".

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Torpedoes dead ahead, Cap'n


Check out Andrew Bawidamann's old school pinup art. [tip o' the hat to volksrods]

Monday, July 11, 2005

Make it funky like a 1-Shot junkie






Practiced some more pinstriping today, this time on the bike. (Obviously.) Dunno if I'm gonna be able to use the seat I pinstriped--the seatpost looks to be a little wide for my seat tube, and I'm not sure if it'll bolt up to my existing seatpost or not. Also, pinstriping on chrome is hard. I'm gonna try adding some black or something for contrast on the fenders tommorrow.

Overheard conversation today, in a hardware store:

Dude #1: "Yeah, [WELL KNOWN STADIUM ROCK BAND] are okay, I guess, but they're a bunch of assholes. They caused $15000 worth of damage to the dressing room 'cause one of the guys got caught with another woman by his wife..."

Dude #2: "Aren't they supposed to be kind of a Christian band?"

Dude #1: "Yeah, funny thing, bands who do a lot of drugs and swear a lot never get violent like that, but with the Christians I guess it's cool..."

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

The further adventures of the paint-stained wretch

As promised, yesterday's tiki (on a dollar store glass picture frame):
...a Chevy Caprice hubcap:
...and a "Get Well" card for Pistol Pete (on a "HUG A NURSE" novelty license plate)

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

Get well, Pete.

I mentioned earlier on here about what an artistic inspiration Pistol Pete's pinstriping is to me. (GeoCities link--if it's outta bandwidth, there's mirror here) Anyway, there's some terrible news there--he was involved in a terrible car accident a few days ago, and is in critical condition in hospital in Portland. (Let's just say if you're gonna get hit head-on by a FedEx truck, don't do it in a '65 Bug. Hell, don't, period.) His condition is improving all the time, but in the mean time, I'm rootin' for him. Funny how you can feel this kind of empathy for someone you've never met or even corresponded with, but somehow, his non-celebrity, "regular guy" status makes it seem all the more real.

Anyway, if anyone out there knows him and wants to send mojo and/or moolah, the details are in this Volksrods thread.

Get well soon, Pete.

Monday, July 4, 2005

Smokey the Bear sez: Only YOU can prevent bit-rot!

The thing about digital storage is, it might seem more robust than analog at first, but in between obsolete hardware/software/media/file formats, unintentional deletions, and good ol' fashioned entropy, today's data is tomorrow's dogfood. In light of that, here's a great AskMe thread on keeping your audio files alive forever.